–clear to me that my mother
was not happy I was home. Here I was thinking
that she was going to– she was losing my brother. My brother was moving away. So that, well, at
least, I’ll go home. You know, because
there’s that saying like, your son is a son
till he takes a wife. A daughter’s a daughter
for all of her life. And I don’t know who told
me that, but presumably it was them. And so I thought,
you know, they’ll be happy that I’m going to
come home and be near them. And they weren’t. It was clear that they weren’t. So you know, I thought,
my friends are leaving, and this job isn’t– the job that I had was a
good job but it wasn’t– it wasn’t anywhere
like my family to me. And even this opportunity,
even this agent, you know, even that enough. Right after that happened, I got
a call from my oldest friend’s older sister. She told me that she had
this group of friends and they were getting together. And she was coming
down from Seattle and she wished that I would
come out and join them, because her brother, my friend,
told her that I was home. I was living with my parents
and that must be kind of rough. And she figured that I
probably needed, you know, maybe if I needed a job or I
need to find a place to live, these people could
probably help me out. Because they were really, just
a really great group of people. And they’re really
well connected. And you know, come out with us. And I was feeling so like, I had
just made a terrible mistake. And I was like, OK, there was
a reason I came back here. This is not something that would
happen in Los Angeles, right? So you know, I do
have old friends here. And you know, this
is what being home is supposed to be all about so. And it made me feel good that my
friend might have mentioned me to his sister. And she was somebody
that I really admired. And she was someone
who had done– didn’t ever make any of the– didn’t have any problems
that I had or didn’t make any of the mistakes I made. She was somebody who was
like student body president and went to Vassar. Her parents were like
my dream parents. And I wished that I
could be adopted by them. She said, there’s a group of
friends, blah, blah, blah. And then she said, well,
one of them you might know. Do you remember so-and-so
from high school? And I was like, oh, yeah. And I did. I did remember him. My very first memory of him was
freshman year of high school. And I was waiting for my brother
to finish football practice. And so I was sitting up
watching the football practice, and this guy, good looking guy,
comes out of the locker room, runs down, late for
practice, comes running out, runs down to the field. And I go, ooh, who’s that? Because he was cute. Who’s that? And my friend that was sitting
there with me, she was my age and she had an older
sister two grades ahead who went to school
with him in his class. And she said, oh
that’s so and so. He’s bad news. Stay away from him. And of course, intriguing to
me, but I didn’t go there. And then this girl
was definitely what I considered kind of a
goody-goody, kind of a good two shoes. So I kind of took that
with a grain of salt. That’s all she did was
just mentioned him. And I go, yeah, I know him. I though that was kind of weird. I didn’t really put the two
of them together at all. But anyways, I go there and
there is no get together. She’s not even there. It’s only him. He put her up to it. I’m like, where is so-and-so? And he’s like, well, I
have a confession to make. I just really wanted to– I just wanted– I really
wanted to get you alone and get a chance to get to know you. And I didn’t think you would– I thought you would turn me
down if I just called you. So I had her call for me. And initially, initially, my
instinct was, this is weird. initially, but it only
took a few seconds for me to shut that off. I mean, initially, I was
like, that doesn’t seem right. And I was really
kind of offended and I was really disappointed. Because I really
did need a friend and she had done such a good
job of selling the whole thing. I mean like I totally
had looked forward to like knowing this
group people and all. I did need all these things. I did need a job and an
apartment and all that stuff. But so you know, that
was kind of weird. It was like– and she didn’t
call, like the whole night, she didn’t like– well, of course we didn’t
have cellphones then. But still, it was like– she didn’t call the next– I don’t think she ever called. I don’t think she
called the next day. And I don’t think we ever even
talked about it until I saw her the next time and then
we just laughed it off. Because quickly, I told
myself that it was flattering. Quickly, I told myself,
wow, he went to such effort on my behalf. How flattering is that? So I meet this man
who I vaguely know. I mean, I know him. I know who he is. We had seen each other you know. At a Christmas
party or something like that and just
kind of waved. But I had never really had
a conversation with him. I was intrigued by
him because he already had people that I knew
that we had a mutual– that I knew him through. And they were all three
people that I really kind of admired or liked. One was my ex-boyfriend,
whose opinions I valued. The other was the older
sister of my oldest friend, who was the one
who basically hooked us up. And then also, there was this
girl that I knew in high school that I always thought
was really cool and that I could never
really get close to her. She was always kind of like
just out of reach to me, you know, hard to connect with. And that was his girlfriend. And she had this very
tragic sort of life and an avant garde family
that was so totally different from mine. Like you know, dad was
gay and a hairdresser. And mom was– the parents were– she lived in an
apartment with her mom. And that was very exotic to me
because I lived in the house with my parents. And you know, her
brother was a punk. My brother was
like a total prep. Just kind of that kind of thing,
you know high school stuff. But she was super,
super cute and someone I just thought was
way cooler than I was. And she was a grade
older than me. And so anyways that was his all
through high school girlfriend. So he kind of came with
some of that stuff. But he did all the stuff. You know, he had all the
stuff that now I know, now I know is classic stuff. He had this sad
story about why he didn’t go to college, what he’d
been doing all the years that I went to college. And the story was that
I was the privileged one and he was the hard luck case. And now mind you, at
the time I had met him, he was living in a
house that he owned because he had the down
payment that his dad gave him. He was driving a vehicle
that his dad gave him. He was working at a job that
his dad lined up for him. He said that his dad owed it
to him because of all the child support or whatever that
he didn’t pay when he was a kid or something like that. And the big thing was
that he would never get divorced, that his parents
had this brutal divorce and his dad was such an asshole. His dad took all the
money and cheated his mom. And the kids you
know, grew up poor. And his dad married this
woman that hated them, and that they couldn’t stand. And he just couldn’t imagine
how his dad could do that. Let me just say, everything
that he said about his dad, he totally did way you
know, hundred fold. But you know, I had had
an abusive relationship right before. Now I was– and I was rejected
and I was rejected by my– I felt rejected by my parents. And I was sort of aimless and
I was looking for a purpose. I was looking for love. I was looking for
a home, a family. You know, I wanted nothing
more than to create a family. Prime pickings and I
was a complete target, totally groomed target.