it was Bert Martinez, marketing
consultant Bert Martinez joins us now from the newsroom I’m going to take a
lot of hard work if anyone knows that it’s my guess no jobs are created by the
private the device has helped millions including celebrities and politicians all right welcome everybody today I’m being
joined by Rocco Cozza. Is that correct? Rocco Cozza hey I’m glad you’re here I’m
excited everybody if you don’t know Rocco let me tell you a little bit about
him Rocco first of all as a husband father
of three entrepreneur lawyer talent manager motivational speaker investor
and coach he grew up in a small town in western Pennsylvania and is currently
resides in the suburbs of Pittsburgh he is on a mission to inspire others to
live their best life and unlock what they have inside whether speaking to
kids or adults he’s always leads with kindness and
believes and treating others with dignity and respect is the way to attack
effectively to effect positive change in the world
Rocco welcome thank you so much for having me truly appreciate it
you bet all right so I got to ask you this you know here you are you’re you’re
a lawyer talent manager obviously father speaker so tell us a little bit about
background from lawyer two on a speaker on a mission yeah
to uh you know to change lives yeah so my journey uh I’ve been an entrepreneur
my entire life and law school was always something I never I never went to law
school saying I want to be a lawyer only it was always a means to an end to me so
I really enjoy the practice of law but I also like the fact that it leads to
other things and you know when I started lost when I came out was a big firm I
started getting into all these entrepreneurial ventures myself getting
involved in businesses then when I started my own firm I started working
with a lot of smaller businesses entrepreneurs and I saw you know the way
I structured my practice I saw a need to help those people and then over time I
started transforming more from lawyer to these people ah to coach they needed
someone that kind of helped them run their business figure out how to be an
entrepreneur and how to just be a better is
person that’s kind of how the coaching evolved from the law practice and the
speaking really in my mission has always been you know I was taught at a very
young age the power of kindness and I just always lived my life that way as a
lawyer people don’t put those two together unfortunately so it’s
counterintuitive so I just you know I started speaking in schools through a
couple organizations here and speaking to kids about entrepreneurship and I
kept seeing this need that kids and you know high school kids and middle school
kids they weren’t being told how powerful kindness is in life to lead to
success that’s kind of how that whole mission started with me and it’s it’s
just been a passion of mine it’s really spread that message gotcha all right all
right so let’s talk about this yeah okay so you’re again you’re doing the lawyer
thing you’re doing the the coaching and the speaking which I think it seems like
a very natural way to you know to go from you know a lawyer entrepreneur now
you’re helping other people so tell us about your book what was the inspiration
behind your book and I’m looking at my notes I don’t see the title I apologize
but tell us a little bit about your book yes so the book is called the elf away
five keys to unlocking your greatness and living your best life in alpha you
know it’s not that term people think it actually stands for the five principles
attitude leadership passion hard work and accountability
you know and it came from again I was speaking to I think was middle school
kids at the time about entrepreneurship and at the ends of talk you know there
was a powwow afterwards and a couple of kids are asking where some of the things
that we need to understand you know to be successful in life and I remember
that day not having a really clear answer I had a bunch of stuff I could
tell them but nothing I never really boiled it down so I came home that night
and just really mind maps I just threw a bunch of stuff out and said what are the
things that I know myself with my clients and other successful people with
a boil with down those three to five things and after I came up with these
are the five things that if you understand
and apply them in your life I believe you can be successful with anything and
you can truly live your best life it’s really understanding attitude what a
leader is having passion working hard and being accountable to someone that’s
where the five things that’s what the books about and that was the inspiration
of the book you know that conversation with those kids yeah you know I want to
talk about accountability because yeah first of all it’s one of those weird how
I’m saying it’s it’s it’s we love-hate relationship that we have with
accountability right because we don’t want to be held accountable especially
as adults right I mean you know how many times when your kid’s name when you’re
when your kids make you accountable and somebody else you make accountable you
know sometimes depending on who it is and I’ll pick the kids if your kids make
you accountable sometimes we’re like hey don’t you tell me what to do or or you
know some way of saying don’t you hold me accountable how dare you of course
our bosses can hold us accountable but the reality is when you look at some of
the biggest leaders out there one of the reasons that they are where they’re at
is because they have some accountability system in place it’s usually themselves
you know it’s part of being self discipline no doubt but it’s more than
that right because there are some people who are are what are they they’re like
over the top I mean they will-they they are so hard of themselves and I’m
thinking like somebody like Michael Jordan I saw an interview with Michael
Jordan when when he talked about the reason that he is worried that is
because he works harder than anybody else that he knows up and that he
doesn’t allow himself any slack he really holds himself accountable and I
think that you know again speaking for myself I think if we hoped if we were
all better at holding each other accountable we would all have
immediately a better life what your thought on this I 100% agree that
in my mind is one especially in the business world I’ve dealt with a lot of
large corporations the most successful ones are the ones where they have layers
of accountability built in that can be accountability to each other to your
boss to the people you that work for you but it’s you have to find that
accountability I say in the book you look it can be as simple as having a
mentor having a coach find an accountability partner but someone that
you’re committing to saying I’m gonna do this and then there’s consequences if
you don’t someone’s gonna hold you accountable the problem is when people
lack that accountability there’s no real consequences to their inaction and
that’s why people are I believe you know meander along through life because they
set these goals okay you know take weight loss I know I want to lose 20
pounds what happens if you don’t write if you’re not holding accountable
there’s not some trigger of accountability there there’s no real
consequence so there’s no real effort put in that’s what I believe the moment
you add that little bit of accountability it changes everything
and I’m a key people figure it out it really can completely flip someone’s
life yeah yeah and you know what’s interesting too is is you look you look
at really you can look at any place where accountability is part of the
system and you see people thrive I mean you look at the military you look at you
know you you’re mentioning you know students any system where there is
accountability people either thrive or they fall out
but you know bottom line is accountability is one of those things
that is so vitally important and I think that one of the thing that that I think
upsets people or maybe yeah I’ll say upsets people and I think
one of the problems with accountability is that people don’t know how to do it
correctly they don’t know how to do it in a nurturing way right so you know
somebody holds me accountable and and you know they hurt my feelings so
therefore I don’t want that person anymore holding
me accountable you know your spouse can hold you accountable and and not make
you feel good about it sometimes right I mean our spouses know what buttons to
push yeah and so you saying it’s all said
they’re like holding you accountable put there at the same time kind of you know
driving in that that knife a little bit so how do we hold accountable how do we
hold somebody accountable and at the same time apply this idea of kindness in
your book yeah I mean that it’s a great point night then you know in a lot of
the research I love the National a TED talk last month on kindness and business
and in the research I looked at when you add in leadership the most successful
organizations the most profitable companies that the leadership is kinda
compassionate because what that does is people don’t like that accountability
because they fear consequence right when a leader when it’s been shown and proven
when leaders are fair kinda compassionate those people end up
thriving because they’re more creative and innovative because what’s happening
is that fear of consequences removing so as the leader you have to understand it
you have to hold your people accountable but if you treat them with that kindness
dignity compassion and respect you will get better results from those people
because you’re taking out that that accountability they set fear of
consequence we don’t want to slap on the wrist we don’t want someone to tell us
we’re wrong or tell us something we did what was bad there’s a different way to
do add kindness to the mix it changes the outcome and that’s how you take that
kindness add it to the accountability factor in leadership in organizations
and that’s how you can transform the culture of a company or a family and
your organization really ya know and I think I think that’s what I call it
hitting the nail right on the head it’s it’s holding somebody accountable
without making them feel bad or being wrong right and I think that’s you know
I think that’s what it is Tony Robbins talks about some of our you know our two
biggest fear is not being loved and not being enough
yeah and I and I and I I tend to believe that because when you were talking about
accountability you look at what you know the things that you’re talking about is
making somebody doing it wrong would make somebody feel as though they’re not
enough or they’re not being loved that they’re being judged all those things
are our two biggest fears and so man I don’t want to put myself in that
position and I think you’re right you have to do it in a way that delivers a
little bit of what I call it kindness with it it has to be done in a nice way
all right so tell us about your clients right now you still work with a lot of
students are you working with a lot of executives tell us a little bit about
who you work with yeah it’s kind of all over the boards and the different things
like do you know in the law practice itself you know I work with you know
small businesses medium-sized businesses entrepreneurs startups investors that’s
my niche right there from the coaching side you know my clients very some of
them are younger some of them the majority of those clients are people
that are either stuck at a certain point in their life and they can’t get to the
next level or stuck in their business and can’t get to the next though I’ve
always been I’d like to think pretty good at taking a step back seeing the
bigger picture then helping people put the puzzle back together so that’s kind
of the client base is really all over the place I I really I’m Ivan for from
the knob and all of my businesses to be able to pick and choose the clients I
want to work with even in my law practice I’ll never take a client over
the phone I need to meet you face-to-face to make sure we like each
other we trust each other because every relationship in any business is built on
trust and it’s a relationship between two people so those clients come from
you know some from the students all the way to the high-level executives about
dealt with so they’re all over the borders not real one type of client I
work with gotcha gotcha all right so and by the way I want to
kind of dig in this a little bit more so I love this whole alpha thing I think
it’s great and acronyms help us remember so alpha
is accountability leadership its attitude leadership passion hardwork and
accountability hardwork and accountability there you go I love that
you know and so in fact I’m going to throw this up here so so one of the
other things is leadership and I think a lot of people are confused about
leadership so I want to talk about that a little bit because some people think
that leadership is kind of bestowed upon you it’s a title right and and yeah
you’re not yeah you’re like me or not and I think leadership is is more of an
action verb or a verb right I mean people are leaders in their home people
are leaders you know yes a CEO can be a leader but you know so can so can be a
Boy Scout or Girl Scout or anybody so give us your thoughts on leadership yeah
III agree with you completely leadership is not a position leadership is the
person is the actions of the person you know the mid-level manager of an
organization can be the true leader in that organization because it’s the way
they act the way they treat people the way they see things the way they
encourage others you know I believe you know one of the biggest tenants I looked
at from leadership there’s a few you know anticipability are all important
having character I always say the biggest the biggest and best leaders
they they fall on the sword when things go wrong and they never take credit when
things go right that’s what a leader does because you want to empower your
team you want you want those people around you to know that they did it and
as a leader if things go wrong you take responsibility for that those are the
leaders right and I feel in a lot of organizations I’ve been in or work with
that that’s lacking unfortunately your leaders are very egocentric or or the
the bad leaders exactly and it’s really you know I look at myself as a leader I
have to be authentic you know I’m gonna tell you like it is if I don’t know
something I’m not gonna pretend I do I’m very open with Who I am as a person
would I’m good at what I’m not good at yeah I’m very vulnerable
you have to have courage as a leader be courageous enough to make mistakes you
don’t have to be perfect it’s about who you are as a person how you treat other
people that’s you know that’s a true leader in my mind yeah I agree with ya I
love the idea of of not being perfect and being transparent I think that when
you look at you know leaders that are arrogant there’s not that transparency
later on those same people go to a great extent to cover up mistakes and and
that’s when their organization or their life falls apart yeah you know when I
was first starting out as a as a consultant and I I thought I had to know
everything in our one of those individuals that definitely was afraid
to do not know the answer and I was lucky enough to spend time with a
gentleman I don’t know if you know him his name is dr. Joe Vitale and so dr.
Joe is probably best known for he’s in the law of attraction space he’s best
known for the movie the secret and and so after hanging around him for a while
you know here’s a guy who was has written like I don’t know at this point
in his life he had written 40-plus books now he’s up to 60 but he had no problem
saying I don’t know and he had no problem sharing his mistakes and his
flaws and people just embraced him for that and and made him you know more
lovable and that was when I learned exactly what you’re talking about that
crew leadership allows that person to share their mistakes or flaws how they
learn there how they learned what they learned because we all learn ultimately
we all learn most of us learn from our mistakes 100% in in echoey setting when
I came out of law school I felt the same way I have to know if you know I looked
at these attorneys that were twenty years my scenery they know
everything and now that I’ve been practicing in quite a long time I
realized that most of us don’t know much we just know how to find me and I’ve
just gotten very comfortable saying hey I don’t know I don’t know I’ll help you
find the answer and solve the problem but I’m not gonna be at somebody and
tell them I know this or try and pretend like I’m something I’m not and that’s
why I think people gravitate towards me or work with me as a lawyer because they
know I’m not gonna do that to them I’m very hopeful and I had that fear coming
out like you did it I got to know everything like these people are so
smart and that he really wasn’t that really wasn’t the case and that’s a
great I think a great example there I mean if you if you you know if you look
at our history I think logs are great example because
it’s got the these layers of appellate courts that you know you have a you have
a couple of attorneys who might argue a case a judge rules in a certain way
somebody doesn’t like that ruling they go to the next court and sometimes they
reverse it sometimes they affirm it and they explain why but yeah I mean bottom
line is a lot of us most of us don’t know the answers I think you know that’s
what frustrates the public when they go to a doctor yeah who might be an expert
he’s not a generalist he’s an expert and he still doesn’t know he’s scratching
his head he’s going obstacle know what’s going on we you know things change all
the time and so what’s true today may not be true tomorrow I mean you have to
find somebody that you trust will find the answer exactly I think that’s
important because it’s hard to know everything all the time you know what’s
the old saying I have forgotten I have forgotten more knowledge than you’ll
know or something like that and that’s what happens right I always joke you
know that when we take the bar exam there’s lawyers that’s the only time my
life I’ll ever have to know everything about every law you know it yeah you
just figure it out you got to be a I think and that’s what I think leadership
goes wrong leaders you know the people that are put in this
of leadership let me say they’d like to know if me they look I’ve got to
disposition because people think I know everything so they pretend and then when
you pull the curtain back you see that they’re just as vulnerable as the rest
of us and unfortunately younger stages of my
career like you feared those leaders because you you put them on this
pedestal but when you really break it down we’re all just people that have
have fear have vulnerability you know how things were not good at and the best
leaders that we’re late to people are the ones that open up the curtain say
hey this is me in that that makes an organization run so much better because
people say if that person can be that vulnerable and that open with me I’m
gonna do what I can for that person and that’s how they should run better yeah
absolutely and you know it reminds me of a TED talk that I saw or a TEDx talk or
whatever yeah and it was a with dr. is it Renee or brené Brown I believe the
dichotomy of vulnerability right that that we all fear to be vulnerable and
show that we don’t know all the answer so show our mistakes well when somebody
gets up on stage and shares it with us you look at them as weak we look at on
it strong and we look at them as a leader and we and we respect that person
and the quicker we can get over you know that fear of sharing our mistakes and
our flaws better we are as a people as a society
and and you know I think that anyway it’s a great TED talk I don’t know if
you’re familiar with it but it’s organic yeah I watched a better book so I know
exactly who she is and that’s a powerful message it’s a vulnerability and I I was
fortunate enough to learn that in my younger years and just always approach
life that way and that’s what’s helped me get to where I am just being okay
being bald yeah I love it I love it all right so
we’re talking with Rocco Koza and the book is out the alpha way I
love this the alpha way the five keys to unlocking your greatness and living your
best life so we’ve talked about accountable
we talked about leadership he is for passion passion you gotta have passion
and I think this is something that again is is very misunderstood sometimes
overlooked there’s certainly I think it’s overlooked in school you know the
great Oprah Winfrey says you know a lot of people said this but Oprah would be
it definitely is one of the people that are is known famously for saying follow
your bliss you know and the money will come and I think passion and bliss are
kind of in you know intermingle and I think most people you know again school
college is the whole thing behind passion and following your bliss are not
taught in a way that makes sense in fact I don’t think it’s taught at all I’m
trying to remember I’ve been out of school for a while
and and I think that that is why so many young people are disenfranchised they’re
chasing the wrong dream thinking that if I get the big car the big career the big
house I’m gonna be happy and you and I both know people that have got those
things then they’re miserable so talk about half give me your thoughts on
passion yes I believe in passion you know there’s two pieces to one finding
passion your work like that that’s that’s the ultimate if you can find
passion in what you’re doing and earn money doing it that’s the best thing to
do I don’t necessarily think you have to always do that sometimes you I believe
you just have to have passionate in life some and I had a discussion a few months
ago with another gentleman about this topic week and we had this discussion
was really good he didn’t have a passion for his job but he had a passion in life
did his job gave him the means to fuel and I’m like that’s a great perspective
because not everybody’s gonna be passionate about being a lawyer will say
but if the being the lawyer gives them the means to pursue their passion of
helping people that’s different so it’s really I think what happens with people
we become adults we lose our creativity we lose our imaginations we get stuck in
the ruts throughout routine you know I have three kids I have a wife I have a
family support so we life just flies by yeah my
work with clients and help them kind of go back to that child you release that
creativity release that imagination find something you’re passionate about life
because when you have something that you’re passionate about that passion
tends to ignite other things well you gotta have some level and that’s what I
talk about in the book it’s not like hey you gotta go find your passion and do
that and make money that’s great if you can I’m just trying to get people to put
some level of passion in their life because that would drive other things to
happen yeah and I like the I like the example that you gave about the client
who wasn’t maybe so passionate about their job but they use their job as the
tool to fuel their passion and I think that sometimes we miss that that hey if
you’re at a job that is taking care of your family and taking care of your
financial needs you know then congratulations and if you
can take that as a tool to fuel your other passion and maybe your passion is
just you know having time with your kids and I know that there are people who are
better at being a family man and let’s say I am and and they love you know they
love having a nine-to-five job because they can turn it off at five o’clock
great job turn it off at five o’clock and now it’s family time and they spend
all their time with their kids and their wife and that’s great and there’s
nothing wrong with that but I love the idea of using your job as a tool for
what you are passionate about and I also agree with you we all I think in order
to achieve I think true happiness you have to have something that you’re
passionate about and and and how you harness that passion maintain it you
know I think it adds juice to your life and I think it does it’s a requirement
for happiness I don’t think you can be happy without having something that
you’re passionate about even if it’s just what do you call it going to
comic-con and dressing up as your favorite character once or twice a year
right nothing it can be that simple but yeah
I believe if you don’t have passion in life you’re merely existing you’re not
living yeah what if live yeah and that’s what gotta find it that’s why it’s
important to mean I did and I put it in my book is one of the five keys yeah no
absolutely absolutely you know I just I just came in into my thought here my
mind here that I have a friend of ours and they are passionate about their I
think it’s the Cincinnati Reds okay I’m sports illiterate so forgive me even a
team and anyway so they travel the country yellow and they watch them
during their training season or their training time they they got a they got a
vacation home and they go to wherever their home games are at that’s where
they have their vacation home that is passionate and they live for that team
yeah and like I said it doesn’t have to be complicated it can be very simple but
that’s what they live for all right so we’ve talked about the
Nicola where again we’re talking about alpha the way the five keys to unlocking
your greatness and living your best life with best-selling author Rocko cosa and
so we talked about a accountability L leadership P passion H this is a kind of
a dirty word for some people and hard work yeah I’m a big believer in hard
work I think you’re all better when we learn how to work hard but this is
something that I think has gotten like a bad rap give me your thoughts on this
yeah that oh again I put it in the book because people misunderstand what it is
I always tell people if you think you’re working hard you’re probably not it’s
one to be to be successful at anything it’s not easy if it was easy everyone
would do it but people overcomplicate they’re always looking for that quick
fix that quick return that easy way out I just said look it’s just ten you gotta
put in day in and day out when the struggles
are hard when you don’t want to do it that’s what working hard is it’s easy to
get up and be happy and excited and put in that 8 hour to an hour day the hard
work comes when you get up and you don’t feel well but you’re still stuck you
gotta do and you push through anyways that’s what it takes to be successful
because the road of entrepreneurship of success and anything it’s it’s up and
down you’ve got to be able to weather the Downs and push through them and
that’s what hard work is too many people are at least in my experience they work
when it’s convenient yes it’s not you got to do when it’s not it’s when no one
else is watching that’s when it matters and it’s it’s like you said it’s it’s a
dirty word because people you know they talk about oh you know you gotta have
balance there and I believe there’s no such thing as balance in life I don’t you got it you gotta be you got to
understand yourself enough to know when you’re really out of balance yeah I’m
just gonna cuz I’m never in balance and I think it
boils down to being really focused on what I’m doing in the moment yeah you
that and both of them getting too far out of whack like I’m spending way too
much time at work and off with my family to bring myself back on course and
that’s you know that means the more dirty word than hard work it’s balance
because that’s being thrown around too much and it’s and then people I’m I
wanted to be successful well you have to kind of throw a lot of
that balance out the window yeah well and what’s interesting to me
is when you know you start talking to people who are concerned about balance
yeah you find a lot of people that are guilty
they feel guilty they’re guilt written they’re like you know trying to do all
the stuff and and I think that you have to get together if you’re married with
kids you have to get together with your spouse and figure out a system that
works Diane and sometimes you know back to hard work in some cases you I you may
have to work you know an extra few hours that week it may be a 60 70 hour work
week for the next two weeks while you’re putting a project together and there’s
got to be a system and pull now back to you what you were saying if
you’re constantly working 60 70 hours a week and there may be some adjustments
there that need to be done or something but again when you start studying the
you know whatever the great achievers yeah first of all balance doesn’t exist
second of all hard work is plentiful I mean it it’s gut-wrenching you know one
of my favorite movies is speaking of hard work is the Cinderella Man with
yeah I mean you know you know he’s on the top of the world at the beginning of
the movie and he’s got life going on he’s the heavyweight champion or
whatever champion he was and then like that it’s over with the the Great
Depression has come in and but the guy understands hard work and he doesn’t you
know he just gets to it he puts his nose to the grindstone and and you know we
talked about passion earlier this guy’s passionate about his family he has sees
that so clearly and but yeah anytime I feel as though I am you know what I call
it if I’m having a pity party man I plug in that Russell Crowe movie man I start
like yeah man I better just step up my game it’s all about hard work you know
what do you call it one of my favorite sayings I don’t know who said this but
is that we all must do I know it’s we can do hard things we can do hard work
we can do hard projects we can overcome our obstacles we can do hard things and
I want to get your take on this I think that a lot of us have failed to show
this younger generation the rewards of hard work the rewards of pushing through
something hard give me your thoughts on this no I I agree and I think that you
know again that I my son who is 17 now you know when he started playing sports
as a young agent that’s when the participation trophy started and to me
you know that that is analogous to to what you’re
talking about like they weren’t being showed hard work they were said if you
participate you get a reward and I always told him I said look and I wasn’t
trying to be a mean father I said you know second place is the first loser
I said the loser that just means you got outworked that’s what so you have the
Chinni if you gave a hundred percent on the field and that’s fine but if you
didn’t you got outworked and I think you’re right that we have been a bad
example you know at least my generation you know 40-some years old you know
we’ve been a bad example to show them the fruits of hard work because we let
me make things easy now try my son and my two daughters to say – to teach them
those values of the the joys of hard work you know that getting the fruits of
your labor is an amazing thing when you work with the heart of something in
achieve and it’s a great feeling and I always that the saying I always say if
it has been done that means it can be done you just haven’t figured out how to
do it yet yeah you know one of my favorite stories Will Smith talks about his father both
Will Smith and his brother I think as his younger brother his dad said hey I
need you guys to build his brick walls yeah and you know the story and so right
so they’re young I think they were early teens right they’ve never built a brick
wall before right and their dad says you guys need a bit build this brick wall
it’s got to be like six feet tall and they said dad what are you crazy I mean
we don’t know what we’re doing and you know and so he said well you you’re
gonna build this brick wall one brick at a time and as his dad showed him how to
how to you know mix the cement how to you know put it on the brick and lay the
brick down there and Will Smith says that that is something that has changed
his entire life because it was hard they didn’t know what they were doing it took
him a year and I think maybe a year and a half to complete that brick wall but
you know any time he gets stuck he looks back at that
yeah and you know ultimately he said you know it was a life lesson that his dad
had the fortitude to apply to them or to give them because there was no need for
the brick wall it’s just he his father wanted to keep the boys busy after
school get you know them do engage and this was the thing that he came up with
and anyway but I think it’s a great idea we all as parents need to create yeah
maybe some hard projects just for the sake of building self-esteem and in
lifelong memories absolutely and here’s thank you as parents what I but I’ve
learned even recently now that my son has done in order that they’re always
watching so they’re gonna emulate what we do and if we’re not working hard why
should we expect them to work hard in life so it is you know it comes from the
top and in organization and a family needs a father like if I’m not working
hard and showing my kids what it what it takes to do that and what the benefits
are how can I expect them to do more than me so you’ve got a example
absolutely no I think it’s a great point all right so again today’s guest Rocco
Koza we’re talking about the alpha wave 5 piece of unlocking your greatness and
living your best life and I may have gotten the acronym incorrect so the
first one is attitude or absolutely attitude is the most important one and I
kind of so so I kind of would call it flip the A’s around because I started so
let’s wrap up and talk about attitude because again you know the old saying
Zig Ziglar used to say attitude equals altitude I think this is still true I
think that with a good attitude you can overcome hard things you know life is
better when you have a good attitude so talk about attitude yeah I believe in
all those things and what I talk about the book you know we’re gonna have
stressful days we’re gonna have things that happen and I believe that my sole
goal in life is to have a positive attitude 80% of the time I give myself
that 20% very well no one’s perfect I never strived to be perfect I strive
to be excellent with theirs when it comes to attitude I look at it
I’m still gonna have those bad days I’m still gonna have that stress but every
single day I get the choice when I wake up how I want that day to beat I can
wake up and be happy I can wake up and be mad there will be days where I wake
up and I’m just not feeling it but I get that choice and I think this is such a
simplistic message that people don’t get we have the choice of how we want to
approach whether the the the one thing that changed my life a book by Jack
Canfield the success principles I read that book in my late 20s and one it’s a
great book every read every year but one chapter in that book talks about you
know we’re responsible for everything that happens in her life like 100%
responsible he gives a formula e plus R equals Oates the event plus the reaction
equals the outcome and he says in the book you can always control one of the
variables either the event or the reaction therefore you can always
control the outcomes when it comes to attitude we control the reaction like if
something happens how we react to it can determine the outcome I can get mad
about it or not it’s my choice if something happens if I can’t control
someone does something to me that I don’t like I can get mad about it and
let that fester and cause negativity or I can say it happened it’s over and move
on it’s a choice attitudes of choice but it’s the most important choice we make
every day yeah you know absolutely and I think that first of all I love the whole
8020 rule I think that’s perfect I mean look if we were good 80% of the time our
life would be ridiculously good right I mean we were you know you apply 80/20 to
everything man I mean that’s just you know you’re rocking it you’re in the
what you’re in the top 1% man I just I love that so uh but yeah I mean look
attitude is the most important thing I I’m a big believer that attitude is as
as I said earlier is that is where I would call it attitude equals altitude
and I love the whole what is it e equals e ee plus our event plus 3
actually equals the outcome yeah I love that because sometimes the difference
between a successful person or a successful company is that they took
that event mm-hmm and they pivoted the reaction was the pivot and it ain’t the
outcome you know Elon Musk was on the verge of bankruptcy he had you know he
had just enough money to do the the his space program three times and all three
times it failed he was looking you know and so everybody’s telling him you know
you’re out of money you’re gonna go bankrupt you know don’t do any more and
of course he tried that for time because he had the right attitude and the
attitude was I’m fearless I’m gonna do I know I could make it happen and he
landed that spaceship perfectly and the next day he got a billion with a be a
billion dollar contract from NASA and and of course not saying that that’s the
wage always gonna work out for all of us but I think you have to have a good
attitude all the time or in your case I love the I to the eighty percent of the
time because I think it’s pretty good so if you have a good attitude eighty
percent of the time that person cuts you off in the freeway it doesn’t ruin your
day you got you know I know people that have come to my office and they’re you
know they’re all pissed off because somebody meant for whatever is like dude
life is too short start out of where your commute five or
ten minutes early uh you know but attitude is so important yeah and when
you react that way to that situation it doesn’t change the fact that it happened
it’s our use the 80/20 principle so I think we as people have to give
ourselves permission to have that bad day you know we are well there’s a lot
of times that I’d be positive all the time you’re cause that’s great but it’s
impossible be positive all the time but if you think that we have to do it makes
matters worse we give yourself that 20% permission to just have a bad day cry if
you want to cry get mad have those human emotions in
those feelings it makes it a lot easier to be positive the rest of the time yeah
I agree totally with that I think that sometimes we try to deny but as you said
our human frailties in some times and I have to say this is something I learned
from what did call it my wife my three daughters you know and we’re been
blessed we have five kids and I didn’t notice that as much when the kids were
younger because kids cry for all different reasons but as they got older
I realized that sometimes a good cry is what we all need
exactly yeah man you know so you find your corner you get your cry out and
then you can reboot absolutely and there’s nothing wrong with that it’s uh
I’ll take a good right now if I’m watching movie about a dog and a dog
dying or something like Oh that’ll kill me like that yeah but that has you gotta
feel that it’s that human emotion that sometimes we don’t we feel like we can’t
get you that stuff you can’t a cry yeah you know sometimes it feels good to just
let it out yeah I tell you I I had the pleasure of doing an interview with man
UFC champion Randy Couture okay you know and so uh you know the ultimate
kind of a macho guy you know not only is he champion he’s former Marine Sergeant
he’s in the expendable movies you know he’s kind of a macho guys who were
talking about masculinity and I said okay you know so you know Randy what’s
what’s up what does a real man in your opinion look like and he he said exactly
the same thing a real man is not afraid to show his emotions he’s not afraid to
be vulnerable he’s not afraid to cry he said you know you would have to you have
to be able to handle these emotions and and he says real man do so I thought you
know exactly what you’re talking about no it’s true and it’s you know
especially having daughters I’ve learned to you know even if I start thinking
about you know them growing older and getting married again that brings that
emotion it’s an emotional thing and you know and it’s okay to feel it and it’s
it’s that vulnerability I’m okay with it well it says since you mentioned that so
my oldest daughter got married a couple years ago I’m still not over it okay
this whole thing about giving your daughter away let me tell you it’s crap
I hated it married to a nice guy you know no offense to Carver love you buddy
but you know few years later I still cannot believe my daughter is married
and it’s gut-wrenching hey Jenna ten times whereas the one they go out on
their first date and it’s just horrific just you know fYI I got a nine-year-old
into five-year-olds I hope they have some years for that away from that yeah
yeah let me tell you it’s absolutely horrific so I loved this this acronym
that you came up with and I think I have it right now it’s the attitude
leadership passion hard hard work and an accountability and the book is the Alpha
way which I love that title I am jealous I wish I would have come up with that
the alpha wave piece unlocking your greatness and living your best life with
best-selling author Rocco Koza and Rocco I got to ask you with the
name like Rocco what is your background there seems a bit what Italian is that
what that is 100% Italian you know is that the reason I was named Rocco I was
born on st. Rocco’s day August 16th is my birthday and I was born on the day
Elvis Presley died August 16 1977 logical ability of zero musical talents
though he didn’t get reincarnated for me well you know and that’s okay because
are extinct is when the music died so you know yeah how do you want to connect
with you if somebody wants to get a hold of your book oh yeah where can they go
so you go to my website it’s just Rocco Cosette calm ROC co-ceos easy a calm you
can figure the book there you can get it through Amazon
I’m also very active on social media on Instagram particularly it’s in my user
name is Dee Roth Coco’s all one word yeah yeah I like that I had to go with
the Bert Martinez all one way long words man it’s been a pleasure having you on
the show I look forward to you know catching up with you later
Ronnie let’s we’re stopping by thanks to have me I really appreciate it take care
you bet