– Have you ever had to use
your credit to buy something? – [Audience] Yes! – [Steve] Anybody in here, other than me, who had bad credit? You don’t have to raise
your hand, it’s okay. I know you’re here. Let me just tell you this: I know you’re here. But let me just be the brunt of this joke. I had bad credit. My credit score was so low. My credit score, and my thermostat had the same number: 75. (audience applauding) When you got bad credit, news travel fast. They wouldn’t even take
my check in church. (audience laughing) “Oh…brother, Harvey, we’re
so happy to have you here as a member of the wonderful
Cleveland Church of Christ. We have an ATM machine in the lobby. Would you mind, taking this check? Can you go out there to see
if it works for you first?” I said I’d do that. (audience applauding) You ever had credit so bad,
you ever had to put your bills in somebody else’s name? I had my electric bill, in my dog’s name. (audience laughing) The electrical company
used to call the house, with a attitude. “Yes, uh, so when do you think Mr. Sparky, can come down here and pay his bills?” (audience applauding) No, your name ain’t no Sparky. But I go right along with it. “Well, Mr. Sparky is busy right now. He’s outside chasing cars. He won’t be able to make it in today.” Tell you something else, you
ever been at the counter with your girl, trying to rent a car? But your credit wasn’t good? You can always tell the person
at the car rental place who has bad credit, because they
talk in real low voices. You ever notice that? People that ain’t got
credit, they not loud. Cause they ask you questions
at the thing, they say, “And uh, whose name is
this going to be in, sir?” “I-it’s gonna be in her name.” (audience laughing) “Excuse me, sir, who’s gonna
be driving the vehicle?” “Um, she’s gonna be driving, she… she’ll be driving the car right there.” (audience laughing) Come on. Come on, writers. Come on. (audience applauding) They wrote that joke. (audience laughing) Yeah, that’s what I’m doing from now on. I’m sitting out here just
trying to make a joke work, and it don’t work? Oh no. I’m gonna start having the
people who wrote the joke, come out here and see how it feel. (audience laughing) The little walk of shame, just come on. (audience cheering) – [Steve] Hey, let’s go!