hi and welcome everyone to the low road
I don’t know if this is the full game maybe cuz I think I got it for free on
ETO which blows my mind too because I’m pretty sure there’s a price tag whatever
let’s let’s just get into this okay chapter one gender Burke motors HQ
Department of outside intelligence it’s nineteen seventies doing something I
wish somebody had told me on my first day being a spy is nothing like you see
on TV show downs and exotic locales a death-defying car chases seemingly
limitless food and beverage Verdeans those days are over what we deal with is
the collection and manipulation of information plain and simple I can get
down with that and thanks to the wonders of telephone communication we don’t even
have to leave our desks anymore is it fun not really does it pay well well
that depends on how long you been here I paid minimum wage do what’s asked of
you 15 20 years down the line you could have a nice-looking corner office just
like this one that’s depressing it underground parking – that’s what you
look forward to in life after 20 years of service oh that sounds amazing I mean
doesn’t it we’re just gonna suck out all the boss I’m not going anywhere anytime
soon what’s your name again um Nunes Noomi
Kovacs but you can call me oh you know I was getting worried that she’d betrayed
me real sex on that one as you do you think
what’s wrong with news it’s your first day let’s see what they taught you in
the Academy yep tutorial let’s gather about to call is Lacey Mendoza
she’s a production manager at our latest competitor Rev Inc our top engineer a
fella by the name of Sebastian Cartwright was working on a top-secret
project when he was abducted along with his plans we’re beginning to think that
Cartwright might be involved in whatever they’re doing over there at red and
possibly against his will well that’s sound there’s three things easy to find
out one where this test facility is located – what’s the easiest point of
entry and three whether or not they have Sebastian all right boss information I
could on Lacy and compiled it in this scrapbook
it’s not much but it might help you gild the lily
pattern any questions guilt lets gild the lily should we ask all these
questions tell me more about Sebastian Sebastian oh I don’t know I’m reading it
she she’s clearly a professional voice actress has a Jones for clean energy
whatever that is okay how do I use this cup but how do I use the scrapbook I say
as I read it again Jesus Christ you turn the pages with your hands and look
through it very helpful thank you your brain shut up my ideas a no maybe not in
your case well did he just didn’t I that I was
stupid any advice I did ask her either dumb question pretend to be someone from
her past high school classmate yeah yeah that’s what I was going whatever you do
don’t pretend to be a loan manager I’m going to beta
okay what’s revving Rev Inc no idea there’s nothing on the books to prove it
exists my guess is that it’s just the front for one of the big boys
all righty you know rock yeah my first you to stop wasting my time with your
dribbled rabble is not a real term hey we finally get to play oh my gosh I love
the art style mission everyone yeah what just don’t call I’m not ready oh
Jesus awesome invite you to their wedding blessings on to you and yours
this is Lacey who’s speaking this is only the best roommate you ever had all
I’m nervous it’s been a few hard years uh puberty well it has been over back in
over a decade only five years Wow time sure grinds – oh nice save some nice
days are you who’s dough silly oh never mind interest in me – game outside
interference lately and we need to be extra careful about who we speak to 473
lengths in Crescent 27 3 Lansing Crescent no no I I got panicked I looked
at the first address I could find and I’ve been researching you
I remember everything everything I’m like good Nelson told me at some point
well if you remember everything dormitory yeah four years that’s four
years 376 University 86 University of I don’t even know what that is I don’t
nice try complete will tear away your vile masks and free the world of your
meddling well first first mission and I’ve already screwed it up well it looks
like you’ve Unleashed the crazy but exactly what I was hoping for but
amusing nonetheless amusing this is a serious job like a coffee break and they
get stuff that’s more your speed oh you just called me slow he just
called me slow I’m fast like sanic okay oh well this is weird how do I walk
maybe he was right about me being slow oh boy it’s point and click
okay bye let’s do some light glare and convert because usually we’re two
incompetents and make basic phone calls yeah it’s like a little workshop in here
that’s neat can i oh there’s a gun in this case hey I’m new I’m new meet
Kovacs can call me new this old guy’s voice is worse than the one I do in my
West floating well well well outside intelligence oh listen again if you want
to stand out and be seen as spectacular it’s best what you take to our office
burn Acula let me introduce myself you have a Picasa name you’re clipping
agents you need gadgetry you come to me for jury to discuss speaking in rhymes
ooh does he think he is dr. Seuss do you have any what’s up with turn what’s this
all over I’m a the rhyming most of my work is pretty mundane I’m speaking like
this keeps me from going insane hey I think it’s telling Phillip buddy
pretty sure pretty sure you’ve already got insane got off the deep end lost
your marbles looks like only the key card to get this
to work keycard adventures where we’re we’re high intelligence is looking to
start a competitive Jai Alai team to play against the bellows bloodhounds a
fatass for the heck is Jai Alai that’s what what the heck is hai lie if you
don’t even know what it is you’re not welcome on the team where is this guy
speaking to us from water cooler note hmm I need a key card it must be in the
plant just kidding it’s not elevator no no no well let’s go back inside we’ll
come back to that later okay I just I want to be thorough with my area
exploration was this the guy that was just talking to us bonds pretty hard to
read good one that’s it slow reading japanese foreign film from star boy yeah
I knew that the Japanese language also has fun and yeah I’m trying to save face
maybe sure it’s almost twenty years old and still ahead of its time I’d love to
see it yeah well it’s very hard to get ahold of
have to be thank you Star Wars is some underground cult following kind of movie king young mine Yuri when I guess race
well now I have to commit three of my best agents tour doing the damage you
okay that was pretty bad I’ll admit I tried my best
oh I’m sure you did but to keep this office running as smoothly as possible
perhaps you’ll consider making this break up ominous I’m doing my best
we’re step-down early retirement without benefits why get hung up on titles all
that matters is that you’re happy why don’t you think about it and get back to
me f you that wasn’t a good impression of
his that was squeaky dog chipmunk impression I like to do field mission
after that disastrous phone call you just made girl no yeah we only have one
agent in the field there’s no need for anymore is there any situation where I
could work in the field for that to happen every single agent in this office
would have to be come in is that a challenge if that kind of wild optimism
is what you need to continue your interminable existence far be it for me
to tell you although hey I think you just encouraged just to kill everyone I
should get back to work yes before you do let me ask you a question have you
ever taken the time to stroll the docile was are you asking me out on a date are
you asking me out on a date please no lowliest where did you start a casual
we’re caught up the corporate ladder you might find more success reaching for one
of the lower rung this guy is so annoying when we start murdering
everyone we’re gonna be going with this guy yeah yeah tell mom oh yeah
whatever it’s our inventory yes classic point-and-click how do I put it away
there we go okay um is this the thing you outside Oh
lovely can we find the key card here is this safe am I just I’m gonna jump off
the roof cuz they won’t they won’t let me have my okay I thought that seagull
was gonna attack me I got got a tad spooked for a second there’s the Eiffel
Tower just kidding I thought the seagull was talking what’s my obsession with
seagulls don’t chorus chorus sounds like he’s speaking through a paper cup or
something come on voice acting just do not care
about quality work can I ride away on the on the helicopter it’s the
difference between a helicopter and a trapper I’m sure there’s difference but
I don’t know it hello cutie pie you’re so cute yes you are oh I’m
plucking all its feathers that was animal cruelty someone call Peter I’m
slowly making my way over any time now hey who’s that can I talk to you there’s
a news item in forward place main sports it’s kind of weird how the other actors
have pretty good quality mics on this guy sneaking through Styrofoam cup so
many cups here’s a lot of different cups you can
fresh out of the Academy ready to travel the world you betcha
pyromania field agent we’re looking at why don’t I
see him use the Bellas agency just opened it out foot across town and
looking to poach as many of our agents as they can’t excellent why don’t you
give recall head off to greener pastures Oh flyer aggressively hiring experienced
espionage professionals to staffer new branches in Europe South America and
Australia well I’m I’m not experienced I already screwed up a phone call on my
first day I’m not sure that I’m the person you want my speaking new me
Kovacs I’m looking for a job preferably in the field no effects oh dang she
found us now abort mission abort Kovacs no professional experience but graduated
top of her class at the Licari Institute for exceptional spies hell ie good one
clever games passed over for government service due to an overly accommodating
nature isn’t that a good thing only if you’re in the customer service industry
you know turn know him we used to be partners professionally or romantically
both perhaps you do have the makings of a bloodhound but no our relationship was
strictly professional at least on my end what do you mean by
that just be careful how you deal with turn
he can be a bald-faced liar when his backs against the wall oh no you see her
boss is like a creep oh I want to do important work we’re gonna work her ego
a little bit maybe I don’t messing around with people’s lives on behalf of
a big corporation isn’t exactly taking the yeah that’s I this game is called
baloney made for yourself you’ve got to make the most of the path you’re already
on and what path is that I think you know
yeah one last thing do you happen to know anything about the de Sciglio group
why is everyone on about this de Sciglio group who are they Hey holding you back
you’ll be floored when you see I don’t underst – you’ll find out soon enough
take care of newbie I’ll be in touch when the time is right all right here
ooh that didn’t that go in as well as we planned it to which is to say not very
well what am I talking about just forget I even opened my mouth this morning I’ve
been having the most bitter tea in all the land I haven’t done field work since
I was with the government if you ask me waste of time no I think you’re just bad
at your job government agent like the kind that kill people and blow stuff up
I was but that was a decade ago and I don’t really like to reminisce why did
you get fired where did you hear that such a cool job to work for a car
company wait where a car company none of your business
I’ve lost the plot already I was fired I wouldn’t be able to tell you why I’m
sure you’d be able to tell me if you didn’t yes I shouldn’t have even told
you that I worked there in the first place ah is that why you got fired none
of your business you got fired stop poking the bear there any chance you
might be called in to do field work any chance we might be called in to do field
work the only way you would be called in to do field work is there we go again
this office the game is really pushing for us to become serial killers I’m
collect that just kidding I’m not going or got them to quit something like that
dang this is getting so dark already no no not at all just a very curious person
why don’t you know somewhere else ooh is that rat poison is that cyanide and if I
take this bottle oh yes this is the least practical disappearing ink you’ll
ever meet it shows up at room temperature and
disappears and the heat that sounds very useless mm-hmm oh is it toxic though is
it poisonous acquired invisible ink no can we drag that to the water cooler
because I’m I’m not trying to hurt or injure anyone I’m just doing my job you
know I gotta get out in the fields no I can’t use it well where do we find this
key looks like I’ll need a key card to get this thing to work correct
I was going to the bathroom maybe the game is trying to point me in the right
direction out of order guess I’ll have to hold it
no you get in there and flood the toilets come on
would you really hold it if you needed to go pee and the bathroom was out of
order actually you might want to because you don’t want to stink up the office
you know that’s it’s not a very good first impression first day looks like
I’ll need a key card to get this why do I keep going back to this printer it’s
clearly not gonna suddenly spawn a key card key cards don’t just appear out of
thin air I think the expression is I don’t know you’ve met I haven’t heard of
either these expression and I can definitely tell you two apart okay I
should hope you could tell us apart take a 2-person what a buffoon give me some
training you’re such a big shot how about you show me the ropes I need
to prove myself I don’t need more of myself – you don’t
have anything to offer yes probably a good spy knows how to get things out of
reach but a great knows how to keep but today this game seems pretty normal
right yes well I had every pocket made up of two seats that way no one can
pickpocket me without raised I call it the double deck might even get a patent
for it after all I bet I could pick your pocket without
you noticing all right it’s kind of weird how we’re standing together it’s
like the Titanic I’m standing oh yes this give me Oh
Oh shizzles chisel chisel chisel no okay okay
we’re playing operation okay ask me sorry sorry
chill out dude nothing’s happening in your pants don’t worry about this isn’t
so bad after all if only we could close it oh is this like Tetris and key card
stuck on that Carl wrestling Horace that took three
tries good I don’t know what you’re talking about
hand it over I’ll go straight to thorns tail whoops
we’re gonna have to take a mango just kick him off the roof make sure you have
any advice on how I can get some field work around here that’s unfortunately
Horace’s domain and between you and me that’s a downright shame he won’t use my
inventions says he’s found better kinds but that’s only because he pockets
everything he find I mean if he finds better inventions you can buy a vacation
but turn will do it I think he fears retaliation hey you know we have a
common enemy can you you could took my place Horus in the field well
Horus is more a pain and I’d like to admit Toulouse with his lips and totally
lacking in which but going out on a limb for a perfect stranger my job in danger
I promise to return the favor then what makes you think you’ll be around to
repay exactly Jones for assistance after only one day oh I’m well on my way on
that track what what sometimes I can’t speak when I’m reading I’ll chime in
with my good luck charm him with my good looks she says when they don’t pass two
years giving an answer like that holidaying we set their own thing I’m
smarter Martin practically a genius intelligence is
something that one has to prove all right go ahead what can I say to impress you today
that’s a poor attempt err I mean but maybe he’ll eat it up what can I say to
impress you today ease into that good thing I don’t have to come up with these
myself my quick-witted brain will never die nor will my elephant-like memory
that’s bad feel free to inspect my poetic license after which we’ll begin
our mutual connivance oh I like that one I’ll stand here for a weeks on end if
that’s what it takes to call you friend good night good night parting is such
sweet sorrow that I shall say good night till it be morrow
so this one is a perfect rhyme I guess I haven’t studied poetry sounds like a
freaking decade ago this one is an almost connivance license I like this
one more but maybe this is a better rhyme feel free to inspect my poetic
license after which we’ll begin our mutual connivance I knew it it’s not a
perfect round Jesus the other one was boring okay got away with words I’ll
stand here for weeks on end if that’s what it takes to call you a friend I’ll
stand here for weeks on end if that’s what it takes to call you you’ve
impressed me thus far but how long can that last
hey that’s not a rhyme f off oh we’re trying to match him I’m a visitor from
the future not one from the past as long as it takes
I’ll always at last my knowledge is vast well isn’t that the lamest answer you
could possibly give when you find out the ends are you’ll be somewhat a gap
when you find the answer you’ll be somewhat aghast
hmm when it comes to Western poetry or clearly a beast question now how about a
form that began suitable count to five it’s a haiku is a perfect way to keep
the brain cells look because they’re kind of easy I’ll be impressed what’s with that night baby you shut up
you old man I’ve had enough of your games you’re making me feel slightly
deranged if only we could use that one I’ll do
what I can but I can’t promise success please just be nice to meet
I mean if we’re going to go with traditional haikus I believe there’s
some sort of progression between the lines I have no idea what it is though
so I’m good at bones please do what you need so don’t worry your dumb head your
poetic browsers left me feeling quite odd assist with your fraud this fake ID
should show you just fine but if anyone asks the hands that made them one not
mine oh give me access to the photocopier no can do
I know what to do with that okay new me get out of this conversation we’ve got
busy don’t play that you’re sure to find your guy okay can you let me go grab if
you love me let me go what’s up dude I’m back for around three let’s go can I try
to kick in your skin okay then oh dang the quality keeps son surprising me
push it like I pushed your mother last night this is so tense
eh and the crowd goes wild ooh
okay all right let’s get it out is it out hello
oh boy do we have to remember the locations of the items I did it I’m the
best spy the world has ever known what’s that oh dang not it I just I just
realized that there’s no way I’m ever going to be able to steal this thing
without you noticing that’s what I’ve been saying
this double-decker is gonna make me a fortune
already what what what’s wrong nothing I just thought my pocket felt different
for a second but my card stolen I can feel it that’s good
I’m really happy for you Horace now excuse me while I take your card and use
it for my evil purposes hello my darling printer I’ve missed you
so this videos getting a bit lengthy so we’ll see what you do in another episode
see you next time on the low road did you like my rhyme no no whatever
whatever you know you liked it but if you’re not gonna admit to it I have
nothing to say to you okay whatever good bye