(cheery music) – And that is why I’m legally
allowed to pardon a turkey. (laughter) – Brennan, what are you
doing for the holidays? – Little complicated this year, actually. I am thinking about going
out for Thanksgiving with my family in New York and doing Christmas with
my girlfriend Izzy’s family in Chicago, but we just found out that my sister’s only gonna
be able to be available the week of Christmas in New York. See, right here, sister time, so. – Okay, so then do
Christmas with your family and Thanksgiving with hers. – Wow, Lily, so smart. – Thank you. – But what you don’t understand is that her family goes all out for Christmas. It is a production. They turn their house
into like the North Pole, they hire a Santa Claus
to come down the chimney. The guy died last year. And Thanksgiving, they hate it. They say it’s a “trash secular holiday.” They hate the erasure of
Native American genocide. Her grandfather was killed by a turkey. So you’re here going, okay, puzzle piece. How do we make everyone happy? – Doesn’t seem that complicated. – No, it is. – Yeah, you both have Christmas plans, so just do the holidays separately. – Wow. You really do have a beautiful mind. – Like the movie? – Like the movie. – Oh, thank you, I love that.
– Would that it were so simple. But it’s not that simple,
because the whole reason we’re even able to fly to these places is that Izzy’s uncle is a
pilot who works for Delta. So if we’re not entertaining her family’s wishes for Christmas, how do I afford to even get
to my family in New York in the first place? You’re confused, I’m gonna
get my board, hold on. – No, we are done with the–
– No, I don’t want that. (wheels rattling) – Okay, so here’s what needs to happen. Izzy and I go from Los
Angeles to New York. From there, she drops me off,
goes to her family in Chicago, comes back from Chicago
to New York to pick me up to go back to Chicago. – It just seems like a lot
of trouble to go through for one holiday. – I’m sorry, one holiday? Katie, this is just the first
leg of the journey, all right? Izzy’s uncle who works for
Delta is politically monstrous, so by the time he gets
there Christmas Eve, I’ve gotta already be
there to start debating him so that by the time
Christmas dinner the next day rolls around, he has
shut up once and for all. – Brennan, that is insane! You can’t make everyone happy
with perfect holiday plans! – Yes I can. – Like me, I’m staying here for Christmas, even though my parents
wanted to go to Hawaii, it seemed too complicated. They’re upset, and it’s fine. – I’m so sorry, I actually–
– No, what are you, no, no! – Okay, so– – Don’t look at recent searches. – (laughs loudly) There’s
a JetBlue sale to Hawaii that leaves the same
day we fly to New York. So we can just drop you at
the airport! That’s fine! And then afterwards, you take
two short red-eyes to Chicago, meet up with us there, and Izzy’s uncle at this
point will not want to have anything to do with us, so we’ll get a rental
car to get to Boulder, where my friend invited us skiing! It would be so rude to turn him down! After Boulder, we take a quick
little cruise to right here, there’s your computer, and just hold that, boom, perfect vacation. – Brennan, that’s the middle of the ocean! – Well, how else are we gonna see Lily’s family on the cruise (laughs)? This way, you get to see your family, and everybody happy! – You’re just pointing to Uranus. – Yeah, my anus! – What?
– But the point is this! By the time you do or don’t go to Uranus, I’ll be in the English Channel
halfway across the world, fleeing from Izzy’s uncle with a rifle, because he’s a gun nut. You’ll be halfway done with your training for the Mars One mission– – What? – And that way, it’s perfect. Happy, happy holiday! (cell phone chiming) – Tickets confirmed for seven flights, two Royal Caribbean cruises, application approved
for Mars One expedition? I should have never told
you my credit card number was 69 six times. – Hey, if any of you guys
are around this year, I’ll be hosting a Friendsgiving potluck! Should be fun. (dramatic music) (grunting) – (in unison) Brennan, no! – Should be good for
that, Tao, buddy (laughs), just gotta move some stuff around! ♪ We wish you a merry Christmas, ♪ ♪ We wish you a merry Christmas, ♪ ♪ We wish you a (mumbles). ♪